musings on life and leadership by randy and joleen willis.

Today is Ash Wednesday, the beginning of the Lenten season. This morning, I was finishing up reading through Ezra and his prayer toward the end of the book sounded like a good prayer for the beginning of Lent.

Ezra, who has returned to Jerusalem with a group of Israelites that were in captivity in Babylon, heard that the people had sinned. Ezra says, “This news made me so angry that I ripped my clothes and tore hair from my head and beard. Then I just sat in shock until time for the evening sacrifice.” (That’s a pretty intense response to sin!)

Then Ezra prayed …

I am much too ashamed to face you, LORD God. Our sins and our guilt have swept over us like a flood that reaches up to the heavens. Since the time of our ancestors, all of us have sinned. That’s why we, our kings, and our priests have often been defeated by other kings. They have killed some of us and made slaves of others; they have taken our possessions and made us ashamed, just as we are today.

But for now, LORD God, you have shown great kindness to us. You made us truly happy by letting some of us settle in this sacred place and by helping us in our time of slavery. We are slaves, but you have never turned your back on us. You love us, and because of you, the kings of Persia have helped us. It’s as though you have given us new life! (Ezra 9.6-9; read the whole prayer in Ezra 9.)

As we turn toward God, and away from sin, may this Lenten season be an especially transformational experience for all of us!

Following up on yesterday’s post, Personal Growth Plan, I’ve been thinking about the things I think I need to be doing (virtually) every day (while similar to a post I wrote a year and a half ago, Routines, this post focuses more on the *everyday* routines).

I came up with a list of five daily must-dos …

• TWG: Time With God (prayer and Scripture, primarily)
• TWF: Time With Family (quality and quantity time)
• Reading & Listening (leadership, ministry, and/or spiritual formation)
• Sabbath Time (I’ve heard that the root word for Sabbath means, “to catch your breath”)
• Exercise (walking and weights)

I certainly haven’t mastered these five daily must-dos. And I’m not even sure it’s possible to do all five equally well everyday. Some days it’s hard enough just to do most of ‘em! But it’s a *reminder* of the important things that I need to be doing, that if done as consistently as possible, will make a big difference over the long haul.

TWG keeps me connected and growing in my relationship with God. TWF strengthens family relationships (including the ongoing bonding with Ethan and Sarah) and maintains a healthy living environment. Reading (as well as listening to leaders/communicators via podcasts or DVDs) stirs my heart and mind and also keeps me learning and growing. Daily Sabbath time (perhaps my biggest challenge on this list) will provide some healthier balance and will make the other daily practices more effective. And exercise releases stress and gives me energy (I include “weights” here even though it’s been a missing component since bringing Ethan home two years ago; hoping to change that soon, though); exercise creates a healthier environment where learning and growing can happen more effectively (in other words, it fills my tank; see Tank-Filling Activities).

What are your daily must-dos?

I have written about the value of learning and personal growth before. See Shaping a Learning Culture, Lifelong Learning, and even Still Learning from last week.

One of the people I’ve heard talk about having a personal growth plan is John Maxwell. I don’t remember where he writes about it — maybe Developing the Leader Within You or The Success Journey — but the idea is that learning isn’t accidental; it has to be intentional!

John Wesley was a huge proponent of personal growth. I remember reading somewhere that he challenged his preachers to read/study five hours per day. That’s pretty intense!

And as I’ve quoted before, Proverbs 19.27 says, “If you stop learning, you will forget what you already know” (CEV).

Recently, I jotted down the things we try to do intentionally for personal growth, including …

• Books, journals, and online resources.
• Leadership Summit DVDs (we recently picked up a few collections from previous years on clearance from Willow Creek).
• Various continuing education opportunities for leadership/ministry development (next up is the How to Reach Unchurched People in Your Community in a few weeks).
• The Provisional Membership process that we’re in is a required part of our growth plan.
• Audit Classes at Asbury Theological Seminary (probably after ordination in 2011).

Personal growth is important for everyone. It’s vital for followers of Jesus, who are “disciples” (a.k.a. students, learners, apprentices). And personal growth is absolutely imperative for leaders, too. I’ve always loved Rick Warren’s statement that “Leaders are learners; the moment you stop learning, you stop leading!”

In the next few days (hopefully), I plan to write a couple posts on (1) Daily Routines (those few things that I believe I *must* practice every day (or at least most every day), and more immediately, (2) a specific growth plan for the season of Lent, which begins next week on Ash Wednesday.

I realize some of us are more planners than others, but what do you do to make sure that you continue to grow?

Two years ago today, while in Seoul, Korea, we welcomed Ethan into our lives. Two years ago, we “got” Ethan. In some ways, it’s hard to believe it’s *only* been two years — it feels like he’s been part of us so much longer!

Ethan began the day with a couple chocolate chip muffins, blowing out two candles on the first one. Then, we went to Chuck E. Cheese in Altoona where we ate pizza and played games.

This year, we were able to give a little more explanation to Ethan on the importance of the day than last year (last years posts: Gotcha Day and Gotcha Day in Pittsburgh).

At the end of the day, we read a new book we got for Ethan, In Case You Ever Wonder by Max Lucado.

 

On Super Bowl Sunday at Centre Grove, I focused on the theme, “Finish Strong,” wearing the Saints’ Finish Strong t-shirt from Finish Strong. “Finish Strong” was the motivating theme for the New Orleans Saints this season. But it’s also an important theme for followers of Jesus!

Here’s a sampling of sports references from Scripture …

1 Corinthians 9.24-27
24 Don’t you realize that in a race everyone runs, but only one person gets the prize? So run to win! 25 All athletes are disciplined in their training. They do it to win a prize that will fade away, but we do it for an eternal prize. 26 So I run with purpose in every step. I am not just shadowboxing. 27 I discipline my body like an athlete, training it to do what it should. Otherwise, I fear that after preaching to others I myself might be disqualified.

Philippians 3.13-14
13 … but I focus on this one thing: Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead, 14 I press on to reach the end of the race and receive the heavenly prize for which God, through Christ Jesus, is calling us.

2 Timothy 4.7-8
7 I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, and I have remained faithful. 8 And now the prize awaits me—the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous Judge, will give me on the day of his return. And the prize is not just for me but for all who eagerly look forward to his appearing.

Do you hear the drivenness in Paul’s language? He’s driven to finish strong! The truth is, nobody accidentally finishes strong. It takes drive to overcome one of our biggest enemies: apathy/complacency.

Only the driven finish strong!

If there was a Hall of Fame for the people of faith, Hebrews 11 includes a list of those who might be among the first enshrined into the Hall, people like Abraham, Sarah, Noah, Enoch, as well as a number of others.

In Hebrews 12.1-3, the writer suggests that this list of incredible people of faith ought to inspire us to finish strong.

Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a huge crowd of witnesses to the life of faith, let us strip off every weight that slows us down, especially the sin that so easily trips us up. And let us run with endurance the race God has set before us. (Hebrews 12.1)

Of course, the greatest example of someone finishing strong is Jesus. The writer adds …

We do this by keeping our eyes on Jesus, the champion who initiates and perfects our faith. Because of the joy awaiting him, he endured the cross, disregarding its shame. Now he is seated in the place of honor beside God’s throne. Think of all the hostility he endured from sinful people; then you won’t become weary and give up. (Hebrews 12.2-3)

All these people of faith, as well as Jesus, himself, should inspire us to stay the course and finish strong. It takes motivation to strip off every weight that slows us down, to run with endurance, and to keep our eyes on Jesus so that we may finish strong!

Saints’ coach, Sean Payton, used this idea of a “crowd of witnesses” the night before the NFC Championship game against the Minnesota Vikings. According to Sports Illustrated’s Peter King, Coach Payton projected “great moments in sports history went by in rapid-fire order” while Aerosmith’s “Dream On” blared through the speakers.

King describes it …

Babe Ruth homering, Michael Jordan scoring, Pete Maravich floating, Roberto Clemente fielding, Tiger Woodsfist-pumping, Eddie Robinson coaching, Wayne Gretzky scoring, Jim Valvano leaping, Larry Bird shooting, Muhammad Ali punching, the Bears Super Bowl–shuffling, Doug Flutie passing, the 1980 U.S. Olympic hockey team celebrating—on and on, as goose bumps rose to the pulsating chorus: ‘Dream on, dream on, dream on….’

And when the lights came up, there was Ronnie Lott, a four-time Super Bowl champion … and said, ‘What I wouldn’t give to have the chance to go out there, just one more time, to do what you’re going to do tomorrow. To become a champion again.’

The images and stories of those who’ve gone before us have a powerfully motivating effect on us.

On Sunday evening, the New Orleans Saints definitely finished strong. They were outscored in the first quarter (they were outscored in the first quarter all season), 10-0, but in the other three quarters, they dominated, 31-7, to win the championship game, 31-17.

I think it was the “finish strong” attitude that made the difference in championship game.

During the regular season, when the Colts were 14-0, they stated that a perfect season wasn’t one of their goals (according to team president, Bill Polian, having the longest regular season win streak and the most wins in the decade were more important to them ).

Incidentally, resting players hasn’t worked out real well for the Colts, historically. As I understand it, the one year they won the Super Bowl was the year they couldn’t rest their starters at the end of the season because they had to play all 16 games to get into the playoffs. It could be argued that because of that, they maintained their momentum/intensity until the end and finished strong that year. Peyton Manning’s post-season record is now 9-9.

On the other hand, the Saints, at 13-0, publicly stated that they were going for a perfect season. While they didn’t achieve that goal, that finish strong mentality was evident.

People who exhibit tremendous drive inspire us to be driven, too. As the Scriptures illustrate, we should learn from their example and be equally driven in our quest to follow, and be like, Jesus!

Shortly after we graduated from seminary in the mid-1990s, while serving in our first church, we found ourselves using the phrase “learning and growing” to describe what we were experiencing at the time. It’s a phrase that has stuck with us ever since!

This morning, I was explaining to Ethan why our responses to he and Sarah are different when they do things they shouldn’t do (e.g., climbing up on the TV stand and/or touching the TV, etc.). I essentially told Ethan that Sarah is still learning.

In a somewhat somber, matter-of-fact tone, Ethan responded, “I’m still learning” (he added that he was still learning to talk as well).

Ethan is indeed learning. Some good things, of course. But some not-so-good things, too, like the fact that Sarah’s crying and/or screaming seems to work with Mommy and Daddy (why shouldn’t it work for him?). And some funny things. Apparently, we’ve used the phrase, “This is not a toy” with Ethan somewhere along the way. Sometimes, when Sarah is playing with one of his toys (like a toy hammer or any number of other things), Ethan will sometimes say, “No, Sarah. This is not a toy!”

For almost as long as we’ve had Sarah, Ethan has been saying things like, “I’m growing up!” or “I’m getting bigger.” One morning, Ethan came into our room and climbed into bed. He said to me, “You have a big nose.” Then he said, “Mommy has a bigger nose.” But apparently, he wasn’t comparing, because he added, “I have a bigger nose, too!”

Sarah is learning new things as well. One of her favorite things is watching Ethan. It will be interesting to watch her development, to see how having an older, active brother impacts her development. One thing I’ve noticed is that when Sarah crawls up the steps, she’ll often slap the step in front of her with one or both of her hands two or three times. Ethan showed her that once, which came from something he and I did a few times back when he was crawling up steps.

Anyway, ongoing learning is important. I love Proverbs 19.27, which says …

If you stop learning, you will forget what you already know.

We’re all still learning and growing. But this week, we’re simply hoping everyone (i.e., Mommy, Sarah, and Ethan, so far) gets well and over their colds, etc.

While singing “Great is Thy Faithfulness” this morning at Centre Grove, for some reason it struck me that we should be right around the 100 day mark since we’ve had Sarah. And sure enough, yesterday was day 100.

In Korea, families traditionally celebrate a child’s 100th day (from birth) because the first 100 days were the most critical. Getting beyond 100 days was a good sign. While survival rates have dramatically improved, Korean families continue to celebrate the 100th day.

We didn’t have Ethan or Sarah on their 100th days (which they both celebrated with their respective foster families), so we chose to highlight their first 100 days with us. We marked Ethan’s 100th day and now we’re marking Sarah’s.

Here are photos which have not yet been posted (mostly from the past month). For more on Sarah’s story, see Sarah’s Adoption.

 

At last week’s Bishop’s Retreat, Gilbert Rendle talked about the change that’s taking place in the world and in the church as well as the leadership that’s needed, as a result of the cultural change.

At the end of his presentation on Tuesday evening, Rendle challenged attendees to discover the “ten percent” (the amount of content most people can absorb from a seminar) that they needed to take home with them. After some reflection, here’s what I think I’m taking away from the retreat.

I thought the presentation on cultural change that’s going on both in the world and in the church was helpful, but I want to focus on the content from Rendle’s presentation on leadership, that is, how to lead change in the midst of a changing world.

Leadership vs. Management. Rendle talked about the difference between management and leadership. While both are necessary, most leaders were simply trained to be managers, to keep things running smoothly.

Management is primarily responsible for the present moment, for doing things right. Leadership is responsible for the future and change, for doing right things. While there’s been a growing amount of emphasis on the importance of leadership in recent years/decades, Rendle noted that …

We are asked for leadership at a time when we are rewarded for management. But you cannot do leadership without disrupting management.

So, while I certainly want things to run smoothly, I also realize that part of my job is to “stir the pot” (see my 2006 sermon for more on Stirring the Pot).

The Leadership Challenge. There is a disruptive component to leadership that makes leadership especially challenging. Rendle stated …

One of our tasks is to make people appropriately uncomfortable.

Of course, not everyone will go along for the journey, so Rendle offered a warning …

If you have a ‘no person left behind’ policy, you have already determined that you’re not going to do anything!

Leaders and churches must be willing to do the right things even when there’s resistance, because the alternative is simply to do nothing, or at least nothing worthwhile or life-changing.

Rendle also offered four leadership skills in his final session. But before I reflect on those, I need to review the video of the sessions, which are expected to be posted to the conference website this week.

As you may recall, we are required to complete three visits with our caseworker in the first six months that Sarah is with us (after which we can move toward finalizing the adoption).

Since our caseworker (Cindy) is in Carlisle, we made plans to connect on our way home from the Bishop’s Retreat yesterday afternoon. We only had a few minutes to visit (and will continue the visit over the phone in the days ahead), but it was good to update Cindy on Sarah’s progress.

Cindy was particularly interested in three things: (1) Sarah’s health and physical development, (2) our back-to-work adjustment, and (3) Ethan’s adjustment to Sarah’s arrival.

At our first visit, we reported the pediatrician’s concern that Sarah’s physical development (i.e., motor skills) was a bit delayed. We were glad to report that those concerns no longer exist. Sarah has (at least) caught up. It wasn’t something we, or our caseworker, were really concerned about, knowing that, because Koreans hold their babies more in the early months, that their physical development schedule is simply different than ours.

It was also good to hear Cindy’s observations on Sarah’s emotional well-being. She noticed that Sarah was very observant, looking around the restaurant where we were meeting with no signs of fear (especially after coming directly from the Bishop’s Retreat where we had been around lots of people in an unfamiliar environment for the past 48 hours). Cindy said that’s simply not the case with some adoptees, at this early stage.

Cindy was also interested in know how Ethan was coming along in his adjustment in this new family situation. Joleen points to a time about three weeks before we returned to work where Ethan seemed to have turned a corner. I also mentioned last week’s experience.

Speaking of emotional well-being and adjustment, a book that has been on my reading pile for a long time (I actually read it many years ago) is John Gottman’s Raising an Emotionally-Intelligent Child. We need to read it mainly our benefit. I’ve always said, with Ethan, and now with Sarah, our main goal is not to mess them up too bad!

Well, it’s hard to believe that today marks three months since we met Sarah in her foster home (and brought her into our lives the following day). It’s also hard to believe that we’ll soon be celebrating two other milestones — Ethan’s second “gotcha day” (February) and Sarah’s first birthday (March).

We are at the halfway point at the 2010 Bishop’s Retreat of the Central Pennsylvania Conference of The United Methodist Church.

We arrived at the retreat, which is taking place at the Willow Valley Resort in Lancaster, PA. Last year, our first time to attend the annual retreat, we came a day early to get settled in and to relax (we also posted some learnings from the retreat).

This year, we chose not to come a day early because we were concerned about how well Sarah would sleep here. We figured two nights would be better than three, at this point (although next year, I think we’ll come early; it’s more relaxing). We did arrive in town a few hours early to shop at the outlets before checking into our room just in time for the opening meal (followed by the evening session).

Ethan was with us last year, too, and this year, it’s a first for Sarah. Ethan hasn’t always handled being dropped off at child care in these kinds of “strange” gatherings very well, but we were hoping that having Sarah (a familiar face) with him would make things easier this time. Such was not the case. Last night, as we arrived at the door to the child care room, we experienced his worst ever response (too bad I didn’t have the video camera ready ). I had to chase him (while he cried loudly) down the hallway. I caught up to him at one of the exits. Of course, he continued to cry until shortly after we left. He was fine then and had a good time. This morning, we experienced a much less eventful drop-off, leaving two more drop-offs to go (this evening and tomorrow morning).

Since this is a “retreat,” we get Tuesday afternoons off. For us, that means trying to get the kids to take a nap. We gave up with Ethan and Joleen took him to the pool (which caught up to him later; see photo below). Fortunately, Sarah, who did not get much sleep last night (she went to sleep very late and woke up very early), had a good (up to) hour-and-a-half nap.

Last year, Ethan’s favorite spot was the fountain (which Ethan calls “mountain”). That’s still true this year. This morning, on the way to dropping him off at child care, we stopped at the fountain for a quick look. When we got to the child care room, he immediately started telling the child care workers, and everyone else, about the fountain (and how the water goes “up the pipes,” something I had explained to him yesterday).

Well, I’ll say more about what we’re learning from Gil Rendle, the speaker at this retreat, a little later. For now, I’ll simply say, there’s a lot of good stuff on leading change to chew on. Both the communication and the content are very good.

Here are some images from today …