musings on life and leadership by randy and joleen willis.

When I was a (20 year-old) kid, trying to figure out what God was doing in my life as I sensed a call to ministry/leadership, I tried to learn as much as I could from others in ministry.

I talked to the Christ-following leaders I knew or came in touch with while in college. In fact, three of the most influential people in my life at that time were my pastor, my youth pastor, and the campus pastor of the college I attended. We’d talk about practical stuff as well as what God was doing in my life.

I also wrote letters to people who were currently in ministry leadership. In the days just before the growth of the Internet, I’d write letters to pastors around the country (maybe people I’d heard or wrote books I’d read), asking for their advice, mostly on practical matters related to preaching, ministry, and leadership.

Hearing back from a few of them, I remember making a commitment to respond to aspiring ministers/leaders if I had the chance. This blog partly flows out of that commitment to share practical stuff. For example, the posts on Centre Grove’s journey through the Five Practices are written partly for this purpose. And, interestingly, some of the most visited posts on this blog come via searches on One-Point Preaching, StoryMapping, and Appreciative Inquiry.

In addition to contacting those who were doing what I sensed God calling me to do, I read about great preachers and leaders in history. Two things impacted me most: (1) they prayed and (2) they journaled. I’m not as sure of the significance of the second part, but it was enough to cause me to begin journaling in 1989, although I don’t do it nearly as much as I used to.

But the one thing that seemed to be a common thread in the lives of the people I read about was the fact that prayer was a core value and practice in their lives. One of the books that particularly impacted me was a little book by E.M. Bounds (a Methodist, who once served as a chaplain for the Confederacy during the American Civil War) called Power through Prayer. You can read it online here (also, the Complete Works of E.M. Bounds on Prayer have been published). I wrote a post a year ago on a statement from the book that’s stuck with me, It Takes 20 Years to Make a Sermon).

As life (and ministry) becomes more and more complicated with each new day, it’s helpful to remember the things God has taught us in the past (simple things really, but not easy!).

I’m grateful for the all the people have influenced me since I was a kid. I hope I will be faithful with the lessons God has taught me through them, and that I will be a good steward in sharing these (and other) lessons with others!

Who are the people who influenced you? What are you doing with the things you learned from them?

As we’ve written about before recently, we’re enjoying involving our kids (mainly Ethan, at this point) in our mission giving. We usually do some extra giving at the end of the year and one of our favorite year-end projects is Heifer.

Heifer’s mission is …

To work with communities to end hunger and poverty and to care for the earth.

Using Heifer’s online catalog, you can give the gift of various animals, from a flock of chicks or ducks ($20), to a goat ($120), or even a heifer ($500). You can also give a share of an animal if you choose to give less than the full amount.

Today, I connected my laptop to the TV and Ethan (wearing his backpack, at the time) helped us choose some gifts.

 

In the monthly West Side UMC Stewardship newsletter, we have been looking at the twelve qualities of the Christian steward as presented by Rev. Phillis M. Bowers in the booklet, Guidelines for Leading Your Congregation: Stewardship. The next quality, which is appropriate in the midst of Advent/Christmas and as we begin the new year, is generosity.

A Christian steward is generous. Christian stewards give whatever is needed and whenever it is needed (Proverbs 11.24-29; Mark 10.17-22; Luke 12.13-21; 2 Corinthians 8.1-15; 2 Corinthians 9.6-15; Galatians 5.22-23; 1 Timothy 6.17-19).

They voluntarily gave according to their means, and even beyond their means, begging us earnestly for the privilege of sharing in this ministry to the saints (2 Corinthians 8.3-4). In this passage the Apostle Paul is speaking of the Macedonian Churches. He states that they are poor, but yet they desperately wanted to give to the ministry of the Lord. What a beautiful picture of generosity!

What enabled them to give in such a way? Paul goes on to say, “they gave themselves first to the Lord.” The only way we can have generous hearts is if we first give our hearts to the Lord. The only way we can see God’s will, and to have a desire to be a part of God’s work in this world is to give ourselves to the Lord.

And so as we present our gifts to God, we give him our hearts. As we first give him our hearts, he enables us to give generous gifts. He stirs up in us a desire to desperately want to share in the ministry and work of the church through our financial gifts.

It is my prayer that as we enter this new year, we will once again commit our whole lives to Christ!

I have written several posts this year about the Virgin HealthMiles activity rewards program. The program is available to individuals but is available to us through our health insurance in The United Methodist Church.

The program involves wearing a pedometer to track steps. Depending on how active you are, you can progress through various stages, earning a little money at each stage (up to $300/year for all five stages, and actually, our insurance program added $125 in other incentives along the way). I decided to chart the course here on the blog through the first year, and today, I reached the highest level (5), nearly four months after reaching Level 4.

Interestingly, after the big HealthFlex HealthMiles Challenge (where more than 2,800 United Methodist participants competed in a national month-long challenge; 17 of us, including me, reached the daily maximum of 30,000 steps each day of the 29-day challenge), I haven’t been nearly as active as I was before the challenge. Of course, I expected a bit of a slump (or recovery time), but overall, my daily step counts are lower. I should get back on pace around the end of the year and the beginning of the new year, though.

On our “anniversary” date (the date we signed up for the program), participants start over, so on January 23, 2010, I will start all over again and work toward Level 1 (and beyond) during the second year.

Anyway, I’ve written these posts this year just to say that I think the program (or even simply wearing a pedometer, which provides instant feedback on activity level) is good incentive for getting/staying active!

Earlier today, Ethan described the past weekend, saying, “I had a big weekend.” Well, we’re a little over seven weeks through our 10-week family leave (in connection with our adoption of Sarah) and we finally took a couple days for the four of us to go out of town (most of the time has simply been adjusting, bonding, and finding our rhythm).

Ethan likes Thomas & Friends so we decided to go to the Strasburg Railroad for their periodic Day Out with Thomas. And while in the Lancaster area, we also took in a cold evening at Dutch Wonderland where we enjoyed several rides. By the way, Dutch Wonderland is a good place for young children. They can go on rides by themselves and also with their families.

The Day Out with Thomas, on a snowy day, was a nice event. It was also a very smooth event — the workers kept everyone moving from place to place, shuttling people back and forth from the farm-turned-parking-lot via many school buses, taking photos of families on the 20-minute train ride, taking photos in front of the Thomas engine during 10-minute layovers at the station, etc. The train ride itself was pretty short — about 10 minutes going backwards, then 10 minutes returning to the starting point.

There were plenty of opportunities to spend money — personal photos (two 4×6 photos cost us $20), clothing, a fully-stocked gift shop, etc.

Anyway, it was a nice family event and a great getaway!

 

We’ve been home almost six weeks and it’s hard not to compare our current bonding experience with Sarah to our first one with Ethan. Some of the differences are no doubt related to the differences between Ethan and Sarah, but beyond that, they’re just different experiences.

With Ethan, he was pretty much our sole focus (except that both of us were completing dissertations during our first two months together).

With Sarah, it’s a different experience for a couple reasons. First, we’ve been through this before (with Ethan). There was a lot of excitement and uncertainty simply because it was the first time. There’s still excitement and uncertainty this time, too, of course, but it’s, well, different (and, obviously, a bit hard to describe).

Then there’s Ethan, who is a major part of the bonding experience with Sarah. It’s one thing for Joleen and I to adjust and bond with Sarah (in many ways, that’s the easy part), but it’s a whole new experience for Ethan to bond with Sarah and to transition from only child to big brother (this is the slow, more challenging, part). But he’s processing it. A couple of his common phrases these days are, “I’m growing up,” or “I’m getting bigger.”

While the jury is still out on how Ethan feels about all this, we get mixed messages. Actually, I’ve always said Ethan seems fine with Sarah (for the most part), it’s Mommy and Daddy’s relationship with Sarah that he’s not so sure about. (I’m still planning to write more about Ethan’s transition, but, frankly, we’re not ready to write that post yet!)

Ethan, who is virtually never down or sad, woke up one morning early on seemingly depressed. He said he was sad. This afternoon, he woke up from a nap crying, which is very unusual. He finally said at one point, “I’m so sad,” but I couldn’t find out why. Perhaps it was a bad dream. As I said, those times are rare, and they don’t last long.

Still, though, Ethan has always seemed interested in Sarah. He gets up a couple hours before Sarah and often asks, “Is Sarah awake?” Sometimes he says, “Let me check on Sarah,” or even “Sarah’s awake,” whether she is or not.

And Sarah has always closely watched Ethan. She likes to get into his stuff, which he doesn’t always appreciate. Yesterday, I got her out of her crib when she woke up. When she heard Ethan coming, she nearly attacked me, turning around to see Ethan. This morning, Ethan was right behind me, so I waited to get her out of the crib until Ethan arrived. Again, when she heard Ethan, she responded immediately and excitedly.

But it’s hard to compare the two bonding experiences because this one is still very much in the early days. Sometimes we think back to (or look at photos of) our first days/weeks with Ethan and are amazed at how at-home we were together.

I suspect we’ll look back on these first days/weeks with Sarah with similar thoughts and feelings. The story will be different (as it should be), but we trust that we’ll be just as amazed … and grateful!

As our family goes through a period of change there are times that really bring a smile to our faces. This is one of them.

Our mealtime habit has been to feed Sarah first and then sit her on the floor with a toy while we eat. One morning as I prepared Ethan’s breakfast (and Sarah was still sleeping), Ethan got his Pooh Bear and
pretended to feed him breakfast.

When Ethan’s cereal was ready he ran into the living room, saying, “Pooh needs a toy.” Ethan brought the toy and sat Pooh on the floor with it and then sat himself up to the table to eat.

As we all work at new schedules and new routines, it is a delight to get a glimpse of Ethan taking in these new routines … and practicing nurturing his Pooh Bear. I’m sure he will eventually become a very loving, nurturing big brother!

 

On our first trip to Korea (when we went to pick up Ethan), we bought Ethan a set of children’s chopsticks and soup spoon (two common utensils in Korea). While we were there, we learned that children in Korea commonly begin learning to use chopsticks around age 3.

On our second trip to pick up Sarah last month, we saw a set of children’s training chopsticks and we brought home a pair for Ethan, featuring Percy from Thomas & Friends (based on what we saw in stores, Thomas & Friends is big in Korea).

The Edison Chopsticks are made by INP Korea. Some of their products are sold by Amazon (FYI, they make training chopsticks for adults, too!).

Recently, Ethan got to try out his pair, and he did pretty well …

 

We’ve written some about Ethan’s transition in the past month with the addition of Sarah to our family. We even started writing about his transition before we went to Korea. We also discussed our mixed emotions about going to Korea while leaving Ethan behind at home.

One thing we never wrote about, though, was the night before we went to Korea. On that Sunday evening, Joleen and I took Ethan up for our regular evening bedtime routine, on the eve of traveling 7,000 miles to Korea, knowing that it would be the last time for the three of us.

We went through our regular routine — reading Scripture from Ethan’s children’s Bible, praying, drinking milk, brushing teeth, saying goodnight. Somewhere in the midst of all that, Joleen told Ethan that we’d be away for a while but that we’d be back.

I will never forget the look on Ethan’s face.

It’s hard to describe. Maybe the word “numb” is the best way to describe it. But I was proud of Ethan for two reasons: (1) he understood, to some degree, anyway, and (2) he knew we’d be back, although couldn’t have understood the timeline. I was also relieved that he knew we would be back.

Ethan did well while we were away, of course, but that night was the real beginning of the major changes to come. That’s the night when we really started transitioning from the familiar to the unfamiliar.

While our kids are hopefully discovering more familiarity here, we still find ourselves in some unfamiliar territory (for each of them and for us, too) nearly 6 weeks after that night before we went to Korea.

We think the current transition of our family is difficult for Ethan not only because there’s a new baby in the house but also because the previous routines Ethan has known have been thrown into a state of chaos (of course, the new baby in the house is a major reason for those lost/changed routines).

When it was just three of us, we worked hard to develop and maintain some routines (in spite of un-routine lives/schedules). While we’re still trying to maintain some of those routines, it must all feel very unfamiliar and chaotic to Ethan. Mealtimes are different. Evening bedtime/devotional times have changed. It’s chaotic and unfamiliar to us, too, but the difference is, we’re able to process it and adapt much quicker than Ethan, who is only two and a half, after all.

One of those key routines was our evening routine. As many nights as possible, the three of us (or two of us, on nights when one of us had a meeting), read Scriptures from a children’s Bible, prayed while Ethan drank his bedtime milk, brushed Ethan’s teeth, and said goodnight.

Tonight, after we read Scripture and pressed the button on Ethan’s prayer angel (which prays the traditional bedtime prayer), Ethan grabbed his milk cup, then when he noticed we were not sticking to our normal routine, reminded me to turn off the light (as one of us prays while he drinks his milk).

Then it struck me that he’s been that doing a lot lately, keeping us on routine, especially at night. In fact, that may be what’s behind the question, “Did you preach?” Ethan knows that “preaching” (and everything that goes along with our lives as preachers) is part of our routine and the rhythm of our lives.

So, in many ways, Ethan and Sarah are in similar places, even though it’s a different experience for each of them. They’re both looking for some familiarity as we become a family of four and as we develop new routines.

As continue to work on maintaining some of Ethan’s old routines, we’re also working on developing new routines as Sarah enters the mix!